you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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