just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
