Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
