I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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