Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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