i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
