Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
