i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
