Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
