dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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