I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
