I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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