Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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