Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Randomize
