hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
