i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
