Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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