my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
