dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
