...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.