I like my sex mixed with concussions.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.