Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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