Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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