I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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