I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
