no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
