Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
