Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
