3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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