six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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