He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
