If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
