i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
handjob tips. give me some.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
