i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
