then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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