going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
