okay pat passed out under dana's car
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
