I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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