Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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