It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
