i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
