Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
