The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Randomize
