For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
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She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
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Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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