I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
