So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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