Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
