Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
