tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
