your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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