Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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