She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
