I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
