You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize