I'm lost and stupid without you.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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