New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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