I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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