I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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