Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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