she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
