Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
we're so committed to being not committed
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
