Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
