I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
