I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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