It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
smell my finger.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
