btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
