I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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